A World Without Engineers :: essays research papers

A World Without Engineers Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, on the planet Zovirax, there was an evil king, King Syphilis, who was mighty pleased with himself, for he had just banished all the engineers on the planet to work in the Pixie Stick Powder mines on the moons of Gluteus. "You see," he told his sycophantic servants and lackeys, "I have solved two problems with one simple executive order. I have rid the planet of those annoying, nerdy, know-it-all, engineers." (King Syphilis was actually quite envious of them, because he went to a Junior University in Palo Alto, and didn't know very much at all.) "And secondly," he explained, "I have provided cheap slave labor for the Pixie Stick Powder mines, thus ensuring a limitless supply of this heavenly confection for all to enjoy." All of King Syphilis' staff applauded loudly, because he tended to behead those who didn't. "Bring us intoxicating chemicals, so that we may celebrate," ordered the king. "I'm sorry, Mr. King Syphilis," replied the servant. "You banished all the chemical engineers to the powder mines, so we cannot make the intoxicating chemicals anymore." King Syphilis was quite mad. Nobody talked back to him and go away with it. "Bring me my plutonium phasor gun, so that I may vaporize this impudent guy," ordered the king. "I'm sorry, my good King Syphilis," replied another servant. "Since you deported all the nuclear engineers to the powder mines, we have been unable to operate the plutonium powered phasor gun." Now the king was really mad. "I'm really mad!" said the king. "Bring me my limousine, so that I may repeatedly run over these contumelious servants of mine." "No can do, Mr. King," said the third servant, whose part will be played in the movie version by Keanu Reeves. "All the mechanical engineers are in the mine place, and everyone knows, you can't drive cars without mechanics." "Go jump off a bridge!" said King Syphilis. Another of his servants interrupted, "We have no more bridges, since all the civil engineers have been exiled to the powder mines. Perhaps we should bring them all back." But the king was not the brightest of kings, so he didn't agree to that just yet. "Bring me my vibrating pleasure device, so that I may relax and think about this dilemma of ours," ordered the king. "We are unable to do that, my king, because all the electrical engineers who design the vibrating pleasure devices are in the powder mines." "Hmmm," thought the king. "Perhaps I was wrong in banishing the

Novel Nicholas Nickleby Essay

Mr Squeers is one of Charles Dickens’ very vivid characters and one that plays an important role in the novel Nicholas Nickleby. He is owner and headmaster of Dotheboys Hall which is set in Greta Bridge in Yorkshire. Dotheboys Hall is a boarding school for disabled and illegitimate children. It is an all-boys school and Mr Squeers runs the school with extreme cruelty together with his wife, who is equally cruel. The children are sent there because they are disabled in some way and their families did not want them. Mr Squeers has very cunning ways and his only aims are to benefit himself. His main aim is to make money and he does this very well by being sneaky and taking short-cuts in the keeping of his school. He tries to put as little money as possible to Dotheboys Hall whilst getting as much money out as possible. Another of his objectives is to have the instant obedience that he desires. He wants a school where he has ultimate power over the boys so that when he asks something of them they do it immediately – with no question. He tries to obtain this instant obedience in school by regularly beating the boys with a cane. Mr Squeers sees his school more as a business than a school-learning environment. â€Å"This is our shop, Nickleby†. This quote shows that he is treating the school as a business because his primary objective is to make money. He does not really care about the boys’ education, just as long as he turns over a nice profit. As Mr Squeers is owner of Dotheboys Hall he decides how to teach the boys or not, as the case may be. Mr and Mrs Squeers deeply dislike all of the boys in their school, except their own children. In fact they perceive the boys as â€Å"their natural enemies†. Clearly, if they see the boys like this then they are not fit to run a school but as it is their own school, they can do as they like. Mr and Mrs Squeers both hate the boys. â€Å"The only difference between them is that Mrs Squeers wages war against the boys openly whilst Mr Squeers tries to cover his rascality†. I think Mr Squeers tries to cover his rascality because he knows that he is not treating the boys very well and should not be doing this. However, don’t be fooled! Mr Squeers hates the boys as much as his wife but Mrs Squeers doesn’t really look for an excuse to beat them – she just enjoys doing it. All of the boys at Dotheboys Hall are terrified of Mr and Mrs Squeers and live in fear of the dreaded cane which they both use to mercilessly beat them. At the Hall, the boys don’t get much freedom and think what they are told to think. They dare not argue or answer back to Mr Squeers as they are kept too weak and undernourished. It is clear that the boys are scared of him because of the amount of times and the violent manner in which Mr Squeers uses the cane.

Motivation Theories and Employee Performance Essay

In an organization, it is very important to learn how to motivate employees. Motivation refers to the set of forces that influence people to choose various behaviors among several alternatives available to them. The performance of an employee is definitely affected by motivation, his capabilities, and the work environment (Shanks, 2007). The management of an organization is constantly under the challenge of motivating the workforce for two purposes. The first reason is to motivate employees into actively and willingly participating in the achievement of organizational goals. Second is to motivate employees into to attaining personal goals (Shanks, 2007). This paper aims at exploring the behavior based, need based, and job based theories of†¦show more content†¦There are various behaviors that are exhibited by employees who feel they are being treated inequitably. These include putting less effort in the job, asking for rewards and better treatment, finding out how to portray their jobs as more important and better through comparison, and quitting jobs or obtaining transfers (Nicholson, 2003). This theory implies that people behave according to their perceptions and therefore what the management thinks or does may not influence performance. Expectancy Theory The Expectancy Theory offers one of the most widely accepted views of motivation. According to this theory a worker is motivated to be more productive depending on their belief that: 1. Their effort will result in a good appraisal of performance. 2. Good appraisals will culminated in rewards from the organization. 3. The rewards that the organization will offer will satisfy their needs. The mainstay of this theory is in comprehending one’s goals and how effort relates to performance, how performance relates to rewards, and finally how rewards translate in individual satisfaction. According to this theory motivation is high when expectancy levels are high and rewards are lucrative and satisfying. In order for managers to motivate subordinates they have to strengthen the perceptions of workers with respect to their efforts as both worthwhile and possible. They also have to clarify workers’ expectationsShow MoreRelatedTHE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN EMPLOYEE MOTIVATION AND PERFORMANCE1110 Words   |  5 PagesMotivation can be a key-contributing factor in employee performance. It is of great importance to an organization to recognize ways in which it can use employee motivation to positively affect employee performance. The methods used by organizations to motivate its employees are essential in determining how they affect employee performance. There are both positive and negative motivational tools that may be explored. 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